Husband & Wife’s stories
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A
husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this
absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a
big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The
wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh,"
replies the husband, "she's my mistress." Well,
that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a
divorce!" "I
can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a
divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in
Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage
and no more yacht club. But the
decision is yours." Just
then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's
that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's
his mistress," says her husband. "Ours
is prettier," she replies.
A
husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary. The
husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here
Lies My Wife - As Cold As Ever'." "Yeah"
she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here
Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
A
man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He
is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six"
in spite of her objections. One
night they go to a party. The man
decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to
leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?" His
wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back... "Anytime
you're ready, Father of Four!"
A
doctor and his wife are having a terrible fight at the breakfast table. The
doctor gets up in a rage and walks out yelling, "and you are not any good
in bed either" as he storms out of the house. After
sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends. He
calls his wife and after at least a dozen rings she answers the phone. Again
irritated the doctor says "what took you so long to answer the phone"? She
says, "I was in bed". "In
bed this late in the day, doing what"? "I
was getting a second opinion" she replied. |