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Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
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Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.
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Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
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Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and a diet coke.
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Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
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Only in America....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
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Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
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Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well : "Poli" in Latin meaning 'many' and "tics" meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures".
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Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
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Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed ?
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Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery" ?
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Why is "abbreviated" such a long word ?
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Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice" ?
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Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start" ?
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons ?
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ?
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food ?
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When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it ?
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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes ?
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ?
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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff ?!
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains ?
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together ?
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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress ?
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal ?